I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
