worst night to have a conscience
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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