franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
