I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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