and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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