He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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