9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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