farters have to be the big spoon...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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