We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
