so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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