How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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