whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize