wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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