Where is the hickey?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
