i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
