My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
