She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
