tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
