Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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