Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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