You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm passing your future prison.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
