Can i not drive my cunt home
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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