I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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