There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
