I heard we made out
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
