So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
