Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
