my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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