I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
