My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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