This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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