Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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