party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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