rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
