Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
