After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
