what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
