PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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