The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
