The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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