Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
