You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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