Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
