My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They took my balls.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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