she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
