I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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