just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
