It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
