So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
