Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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