You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
